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Since that sad day in November,
my life has changed.
All that once meant so much to me
was suddenly gone.
The pain that followed —
the devastation that shattered my heart
into countless pieces —
sometimes makes me wonder
if it will ever truly stop.
Time stretches unbearably long.
As each day passes,
my anxiety searches desperately
for a quick fix.
At times, I convince myself
this must be a dream,
and that I am only sleeping through it.
Yet my search for understanding
since that day
continues within me —
in my mind
and in my heart.
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Life throws hard, fast balls.
If you fail to catch them,
you find yourself
in deep waters.
The lessons learned
from life’s disasters
are meant to make us stronger —
if only we can see them clearly.
I am tired,
sad,
and angry
as the days pass by.
Still, I try to release
my grip on the past.
The tears that come
help ease the pain inside.
Yet my deepest feelings for you,
my love,
remain unchanged.
With every second
that ticks away on the clock,
I grow more restless —
searching for something
to restore meaning to my life.
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I long to hear you say,
“I love you,”
without my saying it first.
I don’t have much hope right now,
and I truly don’t know
when things will get better.
There isn’t much left to say,
yet I am still proud of you —
and also angry.
Perhaps that anger
comes from the fact
that you wanted to leave me.
In the past,
waking each morning
and seeing you beside me
gave my life purpose.
It was never about material things
or money.
Those provided comfort — yes —
but what truly made my heart beat
was the commitment,
the knowing
that we belonged
to each other.
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