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I make no apology
for loving you so deeply,
for doing all that I do for you,
for showing my affection —
perhaps too much.
When I tell you once, twice, or more,
it is only to reassure you,
and to hope that somewhere inside
you feel good because of it.
I make no apology,
because I too need reassurance from you.
I make no apology
for looking to you to show me your love.
Sincere love offers affection,
security, romance, and acceptance.
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I write to you each week now
because I enjoy giving you these poems —
words I didn’t know I had within me
until our situation drew them out.
It is stepping beyond the ordinary,
outside the normal realm of life,
to do something meaningful
for the person you love.
I make no apology
for feeling sad that you do not think this way.
I make no apology
for asking for all of your heart.
It once stepped away
and left me in pain,
and I am still unsure
how much of it has returned.
Being here
is not the same
as being fully present.
It is not sex that says I love you —
though I cherish it deeply.
It is intimacy.
Romance.
Comfort.
Attention.
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It is you stepping outside your usual self,
being carefree at times,
loosening the weight of routine.
I make no apology
for wanting all of this.
In recent times,
you have said, “one day at a time.”
Life promises us nothing
except hope.
Janelle,
use this moment — this time —
to reflect on the types of love.
See if your heart
can truly return to me,
even though I was not your first love.
You were not my first love,
but you are my only love.
I make no apology.
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